strength

I try like anyone else, to do good to make myself better and learn what i need to work on as i grow up. But sometimes it feels like its not enough that no matter how hard i keep my guard up i still get blind sided once in a while and shit hurts like fuck. I don't know if its a gift that no matter how many times i fall or get pushed down i still get up and dust it off. Or its stubborn and pigheadedness that won't let me quit that i feel like its a curse. I really think sometimes i am a good person and i should not have to suffer any pain on the account of my sins at least not suffer this long. Its funny how people can push on or play with life with out of a care but when some shit fucks up, you start to second guess if you are who you are and that your the right person. I just wana find the strength in myself to push all this negative energy away from me and my personal life for a day then i can feel like i am at peace.